Originally Posted by
blackandblue 
I am going to try no contact again and really want to send a goodbye letter but just feel it will arm him with new tactics to pull me back in to his gravity.
Seeing our role in all that happens is a component to our own recovery.
The good-bye letter, if you send it, is your tactic to allow him to pull you back in to the drama and chaos.
Write it if you must. No need to send it unless you choose to create the drama he will use to suck you back in. Why go there?