I remember scenes like this, all too well. As I got a little stronger and a little healthier, my A pushed back a little harder. He knew the dynamics of our relationship were changing, but he didn't know why.
I learned more about boundaries, but in teeny tiny baby steps. I read some literature, and I got up the courage to go to some meetings.
After awhile longer, with the help and guidance of a counselor, I created my safety plan. I started to put away a little bit of money, and I had an extra set of keys, clothes, important papers and a few days worth of medications in a bag at a friend's house.
When I was able, I took a step and found a counselor. I called a hotline. I learned I needed to be stronger and healthier so I could help my children have a better life.
It took me 2, maybe 3 years before I was strong enough and ready to leave. I know that I had the support and love of my recovery friends, and that I couldn't take action UNTIL I was ready. It was a difficult and tragic thing, to know I was in danger if I left, and I was in danger if I stayed.
People who haven't been in this situation just don't understand. They say "why don't you just leave?" and they honestly don't have a clue. I talked to my children, often, about bad choices, bad behavior, consequences etc. They knew a lot more than I thought they did about the dynamics of life in our home. When I took action to change our lives, I was prepared. If I had NOT been prepared, I truly believe the situation would have been very bad.
For those who want to help someone in an abusive situation, here is are a few good threads for reference:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...sed-woman.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ng-abused.html