Jerytoms: Just a suggestion, but rather than being the rat, so to speak, why not simply print out some of the "stickys" from the top, some that you think address the situation and just give them to your ABF's mom to read so she can decide for herself. I would imagine in her gut she already knows, but she wants someone else to confirm it for her. That burden should not be placed on you. But I don't see anything wrong with providing useful information to her; and the ABF could have copies, too. It's good material to place on the refrig with magnets....that way everybody has a chance to be on the same page. What they do with the information is up to them.