Sadly, it's almost always much worse than we originally thought. Kind of comes with the territory. It is good that you feel helpless, because the truth is, you are helpless. Completely helpless to "help" him. We have ALL tried it, trust me. Many of us have tried for years to "help" our addicts before we finally surrendered and realized WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT. If you already know he is lying to you, deceiving you and being dishonest, what are you really fighting for? It is impossible to "love" them out of addiction or for their love for us to pull them out of addiction. It NEVER happens that way! You need to dig deep, go to a meeting, get some support, start working your own program and change the only thing you have the power to change...YOURSELF! It won't take long to realize you are worth and deserve so much more than a relationship (if you want to call it that) with and active addict in the throes of addiction. It gets no worse! Help yourself! Be kind to yourself and get healthy!