I just don't see how you could possibly have it in you to deal with one more 'child'....because that's how he's acting. It's ALL about him and what HE needs! If he were capable of helping YOU in any way, he would have done it long ago. You are spread so thin, I just don't believe you can take any chances.
If his calls & emails are so troublesome, it may be time to consider 'going no contact' until his actions (in NY!) start to match up with his words. (He can get treatment there just as easily as in FL.) And you may just have the peace and quiet you need to make the right decisions for you and your children. When our afflicted ones keep at us...begging, crying, pleading....it is impossible to see things clearly. You must have some space! Really, he knows your boundaries are weak...and getting weaker... just TRY going no contact and see if it helps.