My 9 months has been good...better than where I was for sure.
But this morning I just felt this sense of relief...like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. A pervading feeling of happiness...a lightness of being.
I don't know if I fully realized it but I can see now that I was engaged in an internal struggle over my sobriety. I was bitter with my lot in life and not convinced that there weren't better options for me - I was holding out for some sort of reprieve that would never come - that could never come.
It feels monumental to me. I actually thought about trying to explain it to my wife this morning over breakfast but I worried that I'd sound ridiculous. "Guess what I finally figured out"?
Anyway. Thank you so much TU and to all the other great posters on this thread that share so unreservedly...your experience and wisdom has allowed me to slowly find my way through the metaphorical dark
