Welcome, I am a Mom, so different then your story but we still love an addict.
It was hard but after years it hit me in the face. I could do nothing for my son, it was 100% his. I learned here and in group, it was sadly not my battle, my battle was dealing with myself. If a loved one asks for help, asks to help him find help and then goes himself to start the journey, I think that is the best we can do for them. It hurts to say we can not change someone, I know.
There are so many here that fought the battle for themselves and won, that it is inspiring and gives hope.