(((Jerytoms))) - Welcome to SR, though I'm sorry for what has brought you here.
I'm both an RA (recovering addict) and recovering codie (codependent) who has loved ones still active in addiction.
When I first got here, I read lots and lots of threads because I honestly didn't realize how codie I was (not saying you are). There are threads at the top of this forum, we call them "stickies" as their permanent threads but there is a LOT of good information there. For someone who isn't familiar with addiction, it's probably like being in a foreign country and not knowing the language.
I will tell you this..he is most likely lying about how often, how much he's taking. We A's (addicts/alcoholics) are very protective of our DOC (drug of choice) and will downplay it so it doesn't sound so bad.
We don't want people to realize and actually have consequences...such as his mom kicking him out and taking his truck. I'm not saying tell his mom, but if she were to ask, I wouldn't lie.
I can tell you it took a LOT of bad consequences on top of more bad consequences before I chose recovery. Losing my nursing career didn't do it, jail didn't do it, homelessness and walking the streets didn't do it. Relapsing and losing what little I had gained back in the prior year, facing prison (instead of just jail, I was on probation), finding out that I just couldn't GET high enough to drown out how much I'd messed up, AGAIN, plus a few other things..that finally pushed me into recovery.
I would also advise you go by his actions. He's going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear. That's why I recommended the readings...if you've not familiar with addiction, you may not know what to look for.
I can tell you that when I chose recovery, I never said those words to my family. They knew it because my actions SHOWED it. It sounds like you've never known him truly clean, and after reading around here, you may think about "is this really who I want to be with?" That decision is totally up to you, but addiction is something we are never cured from. I "work" my recovery every single day, as if my life depends on it because it does. I'm sure I could "handle" using again..I just don't think I have another recovery in me, so I do what I need to, to never go back to that life again.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy