Originally Posted by
Skye10 
Hi, I'm new here, although I'm not new to the world of addiction. My ex husband was an alcoholic. I know that I cannot help him and I'm keeping my distance and boundaries with him. I guess at this point I just need some support and to talk and listen to others that are going through the same thing.
I should have listened to my gut. He was addicted to meth over three years ago. Eventually quit, and continued to smoke weed. He now is doing out patient treatment due to a court order. He is monitored with random UA's and yet he still continues to use. Although recently I found out, he has talked to some other guys in treatment on how to control their "anxiety" without testing positive on a UA. Instead of smoking weed, he has started taking Tramadol, Suboxene, Somas, and benzos. I had no clue he was using pills until he started nodding out on my couch one night, and I couldn't wake him up. I am so scared for him
I truly believe he will be sent back to prison or worse--possibly death.
I know I need to keep the focus on me, but its truly hard when someone you love is slowly killing themselves.
I'm new here too and totally understand what you are going through, be strong and continue to think of yourself as number one, easier said then done I know.
A few months ago I discovered my boyfriend has a crack addiction, I have tried so hard to educate myself to deal with this but it has been hard and I started to lose myself it's only a few days now but I have realised I need to keep myself healthy first and foremost.
He and I have been through different processes over the last few months the most recent 3 days ago seems to be having the most positive effect. He has always refused to see it as a problem saying he is in control and not an addict even though he has always tried to hide his use from me and I have hid from him the effects that his use and deceit has had on me. After some raw honesty on both sides he has said he is giving it up, this isn't the first time but it is the first time he has described it as a problem and expressed a wish to make his life better.
He does not want to seek outside help and is convinced that he is capable of cold turkey which I guess is what led me here. I have to respect his choices but it is hard to believe it will be that simple.
I am learning that regardless of his choices I need to be strong and look after me. I also want our relationship to survive, he is not a bad person he just has a bad habit and I have been trying to educate myself to be more positive in my approach avoid laying blame and guilt trips etc.
I guess I'm here for inspiration and the support of knowing I am not alone but I hope to help others by sharing.
Best and positive wishes to all those out there using, recovering or supporting x