Welcome, Foster. Thanks for sharing. You're helping people.
The word "Anonymous" in AA means your recovery can be private. We don't use last names. Everyone there, including people you know, are honor bound not to tell anyone you were there, and they trust you to keep their attendance to yourself. It's in the Twelve Traditions.
"I really feel I can take what I have now and make something meaningful out of it." You're right, you can. So can I. 48 isn't very old.
Regrets and remorse? We all have them, non-alcoholics too. The Twelve Steps, applied to the best of your ability, help to deal with them. A saying that I find helpful is "No matter what your past looks like, your future is spotless."
You may (or may not) find that your husband knows a lot more about your drinking than you think he does. He needs Al-Anon at least as much as you need AA.
Since you've been lurking, you know you're not alone. You're not even unique. Lots of folks have similar problems. I urge you to go to the AA website and read the forewords and Doctor's Opinion of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. It will remove your shame.
We're not bad people trying to get good, we're sick people trying to get well.
Read that over a few times to make sure it sinks in. You seem to be an alcoholic. If you were a diabetic or had Parkinson's, would you be ashamed? Or would you seek treatment that works?
AA works for me. My sobriety date is Nov. 27, 1988. I'll talk to God about you.