I know I need to be focusing on myself, but I can't. I keep focusing on him. I keep dreaming of the day that this will all be over. I keep dreaming of the day when he can come back home and we can go back to how it was before heroin. I feel like my family is broken and I have to find a way to fix it. And it's really painful when I realize I can't. My little boy had a wonderful dad. And I keep hoping that man will come back to him, and come back to me, just as he was before. And if he doesn't, I don't know what I am going to do. I can't even stand to think of losing him forever.
But I can't be like this forever, I have to separate myself from all of this, but I can't, this is my family.