From everything you have posted, it is time to start working on yourself. You must leave what your husband does with his addiction to himself. You are the only one you can change. You can not make your husband want to be healthy and whole nor can you make him do the work it requires even if he does want to be healthy and whole. Get yourself to Al or Nar-Anon right away and start rebuilding your life. They will help set you on the right course--for you. Otherwise you'll be digging yourself a hole deeper and deeper. When you come to realize the best way to relate to your AH, then you'll start to see light at the end of what is now currently a very dark tunnel.