TiredButHopeful

I haven't posted here in a few weeks--I've been so busy with my new teaching job.
Last I posted, my EX and I had broken up and he had been sending angry texts and leaving voicemails along the lines of 'I'm done with you anyway', etc. He had just started the suboxone program the week we broke up..I was feeling guilty leaving him at such a crucial time, but we have been down this road before and taking him back has always 'allowed' him to make excuses for why he 'doesn't reeeeeally need' suboxone and all of a sudden he will be 'too busy' and 'too broke' to continue. I was done enabling.
Aside from the drug addiction, he was physically and verbally abusive many, many times throughout our relationship (only when taking painkillers--to my knowledge at least). He constantly minimized situations or pretended that he didn't remember the abuse. Occasionally he blamed it on me: "If you would have just SHUT UP I wouldn't have had to MAKE you SHUT UP!"

So, of course, fed up and feeling defeated--I left. I read the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft..saw a lot of HIM in it...a lot of things that definitely weren't him as well. But I told him to go read that book, and then I blocked his number (go me!) and I made every conscious effort not to run into him since we live close to each other. We only broke up about six weeks ago.

About two days ago he sent me a letter in the mail. He asked for no reply--said he thought no contact was the right choice. He said he read that book and understood why I did what I did. He saw why I would be afraid of him. He said although he doesn't agree with ALL of Bancroft's ideas, the man is smart and he is going to a counselor to talk about all of the things he sees that he does that are abusive. He then when on to tell me he is still in the suboxone program, still attends AA and NA at least once a day, and as I said is seeing a counselor. After this was said, he concludes the letter by saying how sorry he is that he ever put me through what he did and how much he cares about me. He also said he knows in his heart that it was the drugs that caused the abuse...he said he knows that some drugs enhance your personality..but the drugs he was taking (and MIXING) were the sole cause for such a drastic personality change. He then gave the number of his EX gf (dated her for about two years before he started doing painkillers), and told me to contact her and talk about him, as much as she may be confused.

So ...I did. And she was in SHOCK to hear about the abuse. She said he treated her like gold. He was so NOT jealous and NOT possessive, that she ended up cheating on him because he never questioned her.

I know my parents/family/friends will never accept him..and I would never ever EVER take him back this soon (I'd like him to finish the suboxone program and THEN see if he still doesn't go back to drugs)...but..I need advice on this one since I can't talk to my family. Is this all BS to try to win me back? Do abusers admit their flaws in order to win their significant others back? Should I even BELIEVE a word he says at this point considering our entire relationship was one big lie? I'm so confused..