Old 03-08-2012, 04:32 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
jamaicamecrazy
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 338
Is he mending fences as well? It takes both of you to do so. I have not been so fortunate but in hindsight I feel I tried way too hard to let him see that I still love him. And yes that was the codie in me. As I start to heal I realize that I just need to take care of me. Not in a selfish way but in a "Am I acting in a way that makes me proud of who I am?" As long as I am kind and grateful and show that in my actions then that is all I can do. You are right. He sees only his own reality. If he is working on himself then he will come to a place where he can see the you for the caring wife you are. I think sometimes they are so riddles with guilt they project all those bad feelings onto us. My husband is not at that place. He cannot accept my love or forgiveness. I have stopped bending over backwards to let him know. Don't get me wrong, I still have moments of weakness but when I poke the bear and he roars. I have learned to step back slowly and not take it personally. Bears roar. Alcoholics drinks and cannot love themselves- so why believe anyone else does. Take it slowly. Forgive for yourself and keep us posted.
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