i talked to my RAGF tonight. i laid down some boundaries, and it is a start at least. i brought up the idea that this relationship may not be the best thing for her right now, as she should focus on her recovery first. overall the conversation went well for the most part. i guess she is my RAXGF now, but we still will remain friends. this was a hard thing to do, but she agreed which was big. she also mentioned that she realized a lot about herself after her "relapse" with the whippets. she was talking about how she had not "surrendered" and was still trying to do things her way. her attitude seems better now too, not as cocky as she used to be about all this. maybe she finally got put in her place. this sounds nice and all, but we all know talk is cheap...so i will see how her actions will follow. thank you again for all your comments