Though my dad is the one who uses "victim mode" in my life (he's the codie/enabler to my codie/A stepmom) I finally got to where I'd had enough. He would go on about something that was happening to him and what he was going to do and I'd say "that's your choice" and walk off.
When my XABF#3 had his mom 3-way call me from jail, wanting me to bail him out I said "nope". He snapped back "oh yeah, I'm just an addict, just throw me away". I told him "um, you seem to have forgotten, I'm an addict, too? I'm just in recovery, you're in jail and you can deal with it".
There was a time I believed people who told me "it's all your fault". Heck, I thought EVERYTHING was my fault. After being here for a few years, however, I've come to realize that MY actions don't cause anyone else to DO anything. I just keep working on my addiction/codie recoveries, pray for them, and try to stay out of the drama as much as possible.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy