I get angry sometimes because I feel like I haven't been first in his life since he started using again. It's always been the drugs first, and me second. And now that he's in recovery, it's the recovery first, me second.
I feel like since he's started using, I've been so focused on making sure he gets help, and so worried that he may overdose, or something bad will happen. He's definitely been my main focus for a long time now and I feel resentful towards him because I have not been his main focus. Even though I've been unhappy and obviously have a hard time with all of this, he's so focused on the drugs, he doesn't even understand that. I get angry that my needs never came first with him.
Oh do I ever understand this!! It is called codependency and you both are suffering right now. Please, please, please focus on YOUR recovery right now. Go to ftf meetings (as much as I didn't want to hear it, I finally started going and it is life-changing). It's a long, hard road, but you can do this! Let him do him and you do you right now. It's the only way!