Something good has happened. For the first time EVER, I didn't contact him, I didn't say sorry, I didn't make the first move. I left him to think about things. Guess what? He actually asked to talk to me. He told me how sorry he is and has contacted a counselor. I agreed to go with him. But I did make a condition that he not move back into our home until such time as we feel the counselling is working (if it works at all).
I realise that he's still of the opinion that this is a mutual problem (and I'm willing to accept that there could be problems on both sides) and we both need help with our marriage. I'm happy that it's a small step forward.
The counselor isn't AA or even someone who deals with alcoholics or addicts specifically but he's a pastor who apparently has alot of experience in dealing in all kinds of problems. It's a start!
Friday's our first appointment.