Hello, this is glad to be free. It is always scary to get out of our comfort zone, for so long you have relied on the opiate to suppress any and all feelings emotionally and physically. It is a very scary thing to worry about facing withdrawls. I was there just about one month ago. Now I have been clean since February 29 thanks to the help of suboxone. I don't know if you know anything about it but it is a very helpful tool in becoming free from opiate dependence. It keeps you from having any withdrawl at all. I don't know where you live but maybe you could google and find a dr that would perscribe it for you and join in on some recovery groups and sessions. I hope this helps, best of luck and I am definatly praying for you. Also, don't feel like your a bad mother, your not... you see that you need help and only a good mother would recognize that. I have two awsome boys of my own 2y and 6mo...both they and my husband are my motivation. You can do it!