I was where you were when my AS was 18. I unfortunately continued to enable him for another 7 years. Trust me from experience; running your house like a sober living facility doesn’t work at all and it is a bad idea. I would give him the opportunity for a sober living house/rehab, and if he doesn’t take it, make him move from your home, and have no contact with him. No rides, no food, no money(if you have contact with an active drug users they will lie to you and manipulate-avoid this). Do not let him move back into your home when he is out of rehab. Remember, he is not 10, you can’t put him in the corner for a time out, and you certainly cannot “love” the addiction out of him.
I also caution, since he has already relapsed, I would look into the Salvation Army for free programs, you can go broke from treatment- I have spent thousands.
If I could turn back the clock, I wish above all things that I had not enabled my son for so many years. Maybe he would have still wound up the addict he is today, but I didn’t give him the chance to learn from his mistakes, and suffer the consequences of his actions.
I didn’t let go, and I didn’t let him fall on his own. I was selfish, and full of pride and guilt.
Today, I have no contact with my AS, because I love him, and because I love myself.
His recovery is completely up to him.
Take care, my thoughts and prayers for you and your son