Originally Posted by
Ovid 
My first question would be is he attending AA meeting regularly and working a program?.I know for myself the behaviors come out if they are not and they tend to act out.Its also important if you decide to to give your relastionship another chance Alanon would be a good thing for that.I know in my situation it has helped.I always thought it was me and hearing other people issues had me understand I had nothing to do with it.I've been married for 25 years and it has helped me in many ways.I know when I first went I told myself why?? should I go.But it was worth it.I hope for the best for you
Ovid
He isn't attending AA meetings. He never has - always refused. He feels that since he has managed to abstain for the past 3 years that he must be doing fine. I haven't yet pointed out to him that he hasn't actually tackled all other issues and that abstaining isn't enough.
I would be happy to join Alanon but how would they feel if I explained that my husband hasn't had a drink in three years?
I tried to explain to his family but they think I'm just making excuses. They say "He's given up everything now - surely you should be happy". I think it was easier when he was drinking......but then I realise that at least I had something to blame it on then.
