Stop Walking on Eggshells is a good book. I read that some time ago because it described my mother. The important thing is that the book talks about boundaries and the fact that you can't control someone else's behavior. No matter what you do, they will become angry and start blaming you. So, it's pretty much telling you to take back your life and your happiness. I read several books and website about BPD, and it helped me take back my life. I stopped feeling responsible for my mom's behavior, and stopped allowing her to mistreat me.
No matter what the diagnoses is for your AH, the same rules apply. You don't want to be with somebody who is driving you crazy. He is obviously acting in a way that you can't tolerate. You can't control him. He's going to do what he's going to do no matter what. So, it doesn't matter whether he has BPD, is dry drunk, or whatever--no matter what it is, you need to protect your sanity.