My son came home last July from a 28 day rehab. What I have discovered is that what I want for my son and what my son wants are two different things. I expected him to work very hard to turn his life around. He said he wanted to do what was right, but he didn't put much effort into doing so. After seven months of his laying around the house day in and day out, blaming anxiety on his inability to get a job and refusal to go to AA or NA, I finally reached the place where I had had enough. Fortunately for me, he decided to move in with his girlfriend instead of my giving him a deadline to move out. By fortunate I mean I didn't have to enforce my decision that he leave by a certain deadline. He moved out sooner than I had decided he would need to move out--and I am so grateful for that blessing.
I believe we as parents often do not stand firm regarding our boundaries and expectations of our children. I know my husband and I didn't. People here advised against our son moving home, but we wanted to be the exception to the rule. We weren't. I believe places like sober houses do stand firm or the resident is promptly evicted.
My son today told me (and I hope he's telling the truth and not merely telling me what I want to hear) that he has developed blisters on the heels of his feet from walking the neighborhood trying to find a job. He didn't do that while living in the comfort of our home. Maybe he's beginning to grow up and take some responsibility for his life now.