Welcome to the SR family!
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed. We are here to support you.
I won't be able to diagnose your husbands behavior, or be able to prescribe a cure.
To me it is impressive to notice the difference in how his behavior (no matter what the cause) has effected your life. With him in you home - you were living in insanity. Without him in your life, you find a place of peacefulness, right?
What is important to you?
What do you want from your one precious life?
I am not asking those things because of lack of concern for your AH (addicted husband), but to point out the value of your own life.
I know when I was married to an active alcoholic, I lost my focus. I became so consumed by his actions, inactions, reactions and crazy making - that I became crazy. Then I came to SR and learned about the three C's of addiction:
I did not Cause it
I can not Control it
I will not Cure it.
The addiction belonged to the other adult in my relationship.
I needed to step away from the addict and give the issue back to the adult with the problem. I wasn't doing this to be mean. I was doing this because I wanted to give the addict the freedom to live his life on his own terms.