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Old 03-02-2012, 01:13 PM
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NikNox
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 188
So so proud of stepdaughter!

Hi all,

We are so so proud of my stepdaughter this evening!! She had a phone call from her mum (who she hasn't seen now for 5 weeks), and mum was going on at her about how she disapproves of her son, SD's half sibling, being taken to the pub to play with the kids of the owners as his dad is working in there 3 afternoons a week, and SD was defending her half-brother's dad saying 'well at least he's trying to provide a better life for X, and I think X is better off with him', and that started the ball rolling for their first confrontation about mum's drinking! SD let rip, politely, and just came out with it all. Mum was denying she drinks, full stop, and SD was just saying to her 'there's no point in you lying to me, I KNOW you're an alcoholic, I've seen it with my own eyes'. Mum was trying to tell her that we are filling her head with it all, but SD was just saying 'I know what I've seen, you ARE an alcoholic, I KNOW you are, you're ill, you have a disease, you are an alcoholic'. This went on for quite a while, and then SD told mum she's been to Al-Anon, to which mum said she must have been dragged there by us. SD told her it was her own decision to go, that she asked to go and told mum she has to accept that her drinking has, as she put it 'damaged my brain'. She told mum she's having weekly counselling at school, which mum dissed and said she doesn't need!! SD was so brave, she stood her ground and told her mum over and over that she knows she's an alcoholic. She said 'mum, I love you, but you are an alcoholic and I know you won't change for me, but I just want you to admit it'. Mum didn't, told her to stop arguing and then SD hung up. Afterwards she was absolutely buzzing, jumping around saying 'I feel sooooo good!'

Wonderful. This child is so open with others about her mum's alcoholism, but she'd never actually confronted mum about it. Now she has and it must be like a weight off her shoulders. We know, of course, that it won't change anything, but it's made SD feel better, and that's what we care about
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