Originally Posted by
confused112 
I have been dating a man in recovery for about 3 months now... we met when he was aborit 60 days clean...I knew that he wasn't supposed to be dating within the first year but he was persistent and I promised I wouldn't get in the way of his recovery... he was going to IOP 3 times a week and meetings on all the others and any free time he would spend with me but in the past month hes been lying about going places in his free time so he doesn't have to hang out with me and he doesnt want to be intimate, and now he's saying he only wants to see me once or twice a week and he has to focus on his recovery and himself and he wasn't building a network because he was with me all the time and he doesn't text me or talk to me at all he said that he cant talk about his feelings to me because I'm normal and he used to express all his feelings... I feel like hes pushing me away and all I've done is help him and support him when his parents blamed him for his mother being in the hospital and when his roommates made him feel uncomfortable at his sober house he came and stayed with me, when he was sick...and now...I haven't seen him since Monday...Idk what to do or how to feel I'm hurt but angry and confused Idk what I did wrong if I did anything wrong and he doesn't want to talk about it....he says he doesn't want to deal with these kinds of emotions he wants to be happy...Idk
I'd like to share with you what my clinician told me regarding my then AGF:
Imagine that you live in a war zone, a dark place where peril lurks around every corner: snipers on rooftops; mines underfoot. Imagine, next, that you have developed an elaborate system to protect yourself against the danger. Outside, you disguise yourself, hide beneath a bulletproof vest and a metal helmet. Inside you huddle in corners or under beds, keep your ears muffled against the sound of gunfire. You have learned to make yourself safe.
Finally, imagine that one day something changes: you wake up and your vest and helmet have vanished. You are dragged outside, forced out of your protective corners and into the sunlight, without your armor. Imagine how raw you feel, and how fearful. Imagine the feeling of exposure.
Can you picture it? This is what it’s like to give up an addiction.
And that's what your BF is dealing with.
I'm generally not in the habit of telling people what they should do. What I can
suggest is think about what is best
for you, and that may mean taking a course of action you don't necessarily want to take. Keep in mind doing the right thing doesn't mean it feels good.
I hope both you and he do well.
ZoSo