(((Kim))) - I'm a recovering crack addict, although I abused a lot of things before crack brought me to my bottom. I also have loved ones who are A's (addict/alcoholic).
As far as motivating him? You can't do it. It's not because of any fault or shortcoming, it's just that people who are A's don't get it. I went from being a highly certified RN to walking the streets, jumping into cars with strange men to get money from crack.
Jail didn't stop me. My family begging, pleading, offering rehab didn't stop me. It wasn't until I got sick and tired of dealing with consequences of using (prison was my next stop) that I quit.
I had THREE XABF's (ex addict bf's). I turned to drugs as a way to deal with my inability to change them (most people don't do this, I did).
I can only share my ES&H (experience, strength and hope). It wasn't until the people I loved, and who dearly loved me, allowed me to deal with my consequences, I didn't even think about recovery. I dug a really, really deep hole. I'll have 5 years in recovery in a few days, and I am STILL dealing with consequences.
As long as he has someone who puts up with his using? He has no reason to quit...from my viewpoint, he's got it made!!! I did the same thing for over 25 years...do what you do, I LOVE you, I will always be here for you.
How did that go? XABF#1 is now married to a gf he had on the side when he was with me. I've heard he's made NO changes, so I assume she's walking around on eggshells, just like I did.
XABF#2? Don't have a clue. Never really loved him, but he IS the one who I allowed to 13-step me in AA and introduce me to crack.
XBAF#3? He died a few years ago. Smoking a crack pipe was more important than going to the dr. and he died of pneumonia.
Me? I have my bad days, I cling to SR as a lifeline, but I am extremely grateful to the people who allowed me to hit bottom...to sleep on the streets, do my jail time, deal with the loss of a great career, and find my way back IN to school, trust me with their debit cards (have all the PIN numbers), and know that when I say I'll do something? I do it.
I'm not perfect...far from it. My A stepmom recently drove me to where all I wanted was to be NUMB!! I came here...stayed for hours, and I woke up the next day? Still in recovery.
Recovery is more important to me than anything. If I don't have it? I don't have a life. It's thanks to people here, especially on this forum, that I've gotten to that point.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy