((Kim))) I'm so sorry for your pain. There is nothing quite as frustrating as caring for an addict. I do hope you find counseling for yourself. Having been through this for years, there is one thing I know, even though I don't like it at all. There is not enough love on the planet to love an addict to sobriety. It makes no sense to you and me, I'm sure, but if love would do it, my son would have been cleaned up years ago. So please don't think if he doesn't clean up, that it's because of something you did or didn't do.
It sounds like he has no plans for recovery. So you are in a situation of determining if the abuse he gives is worth what it cost you, not only financially, but emotionally, physically, and mentally. It can suck the life right out of you.
Just be careful, keep reading all you can, come back to this forum frequently, and if possible find a support group. I care.