((Susan)) Sounds like you have lived with enough addicts in your life. Maybe it's time to let go of them and focus on you while you are able. Wish I had a magic answer, but I don't. I do know that his addiction has nothing to do with you. It's separate and apart and he cannot be the kind of mate you desire if he is an addict. I pray you get counsel and work on a new and wonderful life for yourself.