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Old 02-28-2012, 02:40 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
KelleyF
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 445
Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
Why would you not jump at the chance to look at your own issues with your own counselor and then when you are both healthier down the road do the couples counseling? It seems like you're trying to fix the relationship, he's trying to fix you, and neither is focused on their own individual issues. I guess it is easier looking through the microscope than looking in the mirror?
Its difficult for me to admit to myself that some type of therapy might be good for me. Mostly I think this is because I feel pretty good about everything in my life right now. *I know that doesn't seem rational considering everything I've been through with BF. Obviously there are some things that I'm still dealing with, but I feel like I'm emotionally healthy. I'm not facing each day in a cloud of sadness, or trying to push down feelings of anger, or disappointment in the BF; in fact we have talked so much that I think we both feel like our relationship has deepened and grown stronger.

I also realize that most of this sense of normalcy is coming from he fact that BF isn't using; and I am allowing myself to believe that he won't ever slip again; but realistically I know he may. *This is why I've tried to keep up with SR and Im now reading my second Melody Beattie book.
I'm trying to learn and become more aware so that I don't fall into damaging behavior again like I did when he had his OD.*

Your right about BF worrying about me; I don't think he really thinks I'm broken and need fixing; but I think he carries the burden of how his actions have affected me. So when I talked to him about my feelings being stirred up; all the emotions and fears that I experienced when I found him on the floor; he has this instinct to make the hurt go away for me. *He had a productive solution; talking to his Dr; especially since he knew I would be reluctant to explore this option myself. I actually think it was kinda sweet.

And from what several people have told me, it's common for his Dr to suggest a couples session at some point. He's been working with the Dr for 2 months now, so he must feel it's an appropriate time.
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