Originally Posted by
mebesusan 
I told him that if i found out he was still using, i would end it.
A boundary begins with an " I will / willnot..." statement. An attempt to control someone usually begins with " You will/ will not... or else..."
You attempted to control him. It did not work because we have no control over other people.
I found out he has been abusing drugs for the past two years. He also told me he has been snorting heroin for two months.
Addiction demands the addict protect and sustain it. Addicts lie. He has likely been at this all along if not longer.
I feel like if he cared for me at all, this would have never happened. Everytime i think about what he has been doing to himself, i break down and cry. I think about it all the time.
He did not use drugs at you. It's not personal. It just feels that way, right now. If love could cure addiction, none of us would be here.
Sounds like you want reassurances that he will become the guy you wanted him to be which is not the person he is. He will battle addiction for the rest of his life and be at risk for relapse. And it has nothing to do with you. Recovery is 100% an inside job.
From my own experience with my daughter's addiction I eventually decided I could not live with anyone in active addiction or early recovery. I could not imagine trying to sustain a relationship with someone who broke trust this way. This is my boundary because I value myself enough to choose the people I allow into my life and avoid the chaos and drama of addiction.
I do not have control over other people.I work hard at controlling the only thing I can, my reactions.