Character Defect vs. Alcoholism
This week I learned something new
Character defect is not the same as alcoholism
I always thought alot of things that my xah did was because he was drinking
If he did stupid/mean stuff, I would always say, "OH, he just had too much to drink, he didnt mean that"
<excuses, denial, dumb blonde, uneducated about alcoholism, character defects and domestic abuse>
When I put obession, anger, complusive, control, and my daughter
on the wheel of; Domestic abuse & Character defect - Bingo! There it was
It all started to click....
Then he added alcohol - Like adding icing on top of the cake
2 seperate issues....
That I use to mix together as one.
I seperated the icing from the cake this week....
Even without the alcohol, his mind is very sick
A drunk is a drunk, but how many do you know that
talk about their kids in a sexual manner, when they are drunk? Or how many dads call their daughters filthy names, even when they are not drinking? How many dads sneak text messages to their daughters 16/17 years old, calling them whores, if their not home from the movies by 11pm?
No more mixing the 2 together for me...I got it!
Learning this, gave me strength to let go, it broke the final straw
It overwhelmed me with anger and now I have major work to do on myself
I thought I was healing, but this knock me down. But I am grateful for
it, maybe now is my time to really work on my anger and I can finally
move on. I have stayed standing in the cement long enough...
I have called his family & his rehab and calmly told them
that if he calls me one more time...I will file herassment & stalking charges...
I finally think I got it - I hope and pray
I want released and I want peace........