Mike's post times infinity: You did the right thing. I completely understand that it'd be DD's hurt that hurts the worst.
DS is 7. What usually works for us is letting him know I'm there for him. That I understand that he has all these feelings and it's OK to have them. I ask him if he needs time alone or without me in the room and honor his answer. When he's ready he usually seeks me out for huggles (snuggles and hugs). I'm never sure if I should push him to talk about his feelings related to his father or just let him have them. Sigh.
