Thread: Making Amends
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:29 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Taking5
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
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Staying sober is not an amends. Step 9 doesn't say stay sober to make up for all the crap you did.

An apology is not an amends. An amends almost always includes an apology, but apologizing is way too little to do to qualify for an amends.

Did you steal money to support your addiction? Apologize AND pay it back.

Did you bad mouth someone in front of someone else? Apologize to the person, in the presence of the other person.

Did you become verbally abusive? Apologize to not only the person you abused, but their immediate family/loved ones as well. Enrolling in an anger management course as part of this amends may help too - not all of us drunks are abusive, you may have other issues as well.

Keep in mind the two qualifiers in step 9:

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
This can get tricky, but don't kid yourself that an apology or the "living" amends of staying sober is what the BB has in mind for step 9.
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