ag0710, this thing you are going through right now is a process. Change is always difficult, but it's a growth process. Your son is growing. He obviously needs this space. These are his lessons to learn, no matter how painful. I understand your putting away the photo's of happier times, I did the same thing, and it really does help. There'll be time later on that you can look at those photos, and even later, take more happy photos again probably. Your son chose the drugs and drinking, for now, and it's up to him to add this to his box of experiences. Chances are he'll suffer some pain and consequences, but these are his to suffer, not yours to rescue him from, otherwise he'll never have a reason to choose to stop. Another poster (englishgarden, I think) wrote that the addict has to eventually come to see the drug/drink as their enemy before they give it up (paraphrased). That sentence hit home with me. I realized that I'd spent so much time softening the blows, easing the consequences, "helping" my AS, that he had no reason to see the drugs as his enemies; they were his friends, his feel-good buddies, and I was mean-ole mom for trying to take them away from him. So I let go, and am allowing him to see for himself who the enemy is.