Starting a New Relationship With My Best Friend?
I'm still recovering from XABF's years of abuse. I'm getting better, have broken through the denial and accepted the truth, and am currently just trying to harness this intense anger and hatred towards him, taking meds and counseling to treat the PTSD, etc.
Here's my situation and any advice would help:
One of the closest and most supportive people in my life is my old college boyfriend. We met when I was 19 and dated 2 years, but I was SO young I broke up w/ him to go spread my wings, etc. We always remained friends, he always loved me and maintained that nobody he dated came close to what we have. In the 10 years since we've broken up he has never pushed me, but always just subtly let me know that when I am ready he is there waiting.
He has cared for my cat for 1 year while my life was torn apart by XABF, supported me emotionally through it all, etc. He is one of my BEST friends in the world and always has been.
I have broken free from XABF's mind control (or rather my addiction to the fantasy of a happy life with him) and now realize that this person, my college bf, is the one I want to spend my life with. I've always known this in the back of my mind, but I was seeking excitement and drama, that chaos I was wired for since childhood, and let's face it, nice responsible guys like him are boring and predictable to codies. Also, I subconsciously didn't feel like I was good enough for someone like him. I couldn't handle someone taking care of ME.
He's kind, supportive, fun, responsible (he's also become filthy rich in the 12 years I've known him, which is a nice bonus considering I spent the last 2 years financially supporting a psychopath who raped my soul as well as put me so deep in debt...lol), and everything I want in a partner.
THIS is the guy/life that I want, and will be a gift and blessing rather than a curse. To have someone who truly loves and looks out for me, honors his commitments, responsibilities. Is able to provide for a family both emotionally and financially. Give me boring and predictable! Finally I have seen the light! LoL.
Sorry so long, but I guess what I'm asking is would it be a bad idea to get back into a relationship with him right now even though he is and always has been one of my biggest supporters in life? How can I do this the healthy way? He is totally understanding, and even if I did accept his proposal to start our life together, he'd give me all the space and time I needed to work on myself and my recovery. He'd be there and would support me every step of the way.
He's flying me back home this month to visit. What do I do? I know this is my fate but would it be wrong to run to him now? It's tricky because I need support from friends and family to get through this trauma and he is my #1 friend/supporter. But the sex and romance does complicate that still...
Is this OK? Is it wrong for me to be with him now? Thanks, and I really missed SR. Lol.