welcome. I've been clean for about a year and a half now. I'm realitivy young myself (28). started like you with coke. every weekend. then w hen I figured out crack was cheaper to get high with than coke, all bets were off. Please, stop before you take it there. And you will take it there if you don't stop. I wish to god I could go back and stop when I was just using coke.
you can do it. but you are going to have to fight for it. it's not some magical pixy dust you just sprink and the desire is all gone. you are going to have to go go war everyday with this for a while.
it gets easier. i promise. but you really, have to sit down and plan and sit down and come up wtih a game plan as to how you are going to tackle it. it's not just going to "happen". you got to chase sobriety like you chased getting high.