In need of help with self destructive boyfriend.
Hello to everyone,
My boyfriend who is an alcoholic has asked me to give me him some time to get his life together because he stated that he did not like who he was right now, did not like where he was at in his life and was tired of being himself. He also stated that he did not think it was fair to string me along during his unhappiness BUT when his life would be in order, he would come back! Im so lost and confused! I have offered to help him many times, offered to sit with him at meetings( btw..he refused to go because he said he went before and it did not do anything for him!), offered to be a listening ear everytime he tought he was going to drink to call me instead or come to my house! His roomate is also a heavy drinker as well as the friends he hangs out with! I have tried to be supportive, caring and available for him but obsviously he rejected my help and wants to be alone...Is this a normal reaction to want to be alone rather than getting support from gf?? Im confused!!!???? I havent seen him in almost 3 weeks and the last time i heard from him was by text on Valentine's day! Although, i respect his wish..I am worried about him ! I am worried that he has not stopped drinking but push me on the side because I was being too pushy on him to slow down on his drinking! I only was doing that because I fell in love with him and wanted the best for him! He has a lot to offer if he is not drinking ! I am new to this type of situation and surely do not know what to do to help him or IF THERE is anything i can do to help him. Should I initiate contact with him once in awhile to see how he is doing or let him initiate contact with me when he is ready???
Our relationship was not the best because he acted at times very selfish, was always tired(does work 2 jobs!), rarely wanted to go anywhere unless alcohol was involved ...but we still had good times together, laughed a lot , enjoyed each other company,declared our love to each other, talked about the futurem,even Made plans for summer to visit his family...etc....
I do miss him a lot and do not know whether I should give up or wait until he feels better about himself!
Please advise. Thank you in advance...