It was really difficult to work through my anger when I first got into recovery. I grew up in a home where it was
not okay to express anger, so I suppressed it for many years.
There are a few tools I was given to help me work through anger. I would roll up socks into a ball and throw them as hard as I could against a wall, envisioning that the wall was whoever I was mad at.
Also early in therapy I was given a plastic bat and a pillow to beat on.
Those were pretty intense for me, and I literally threw up after the first time I used balled up socks. So much anger came pouring out. I felt really wiped out the rest of that day, but felt so much better the next day.
I have also found it incredibly helpful over the years to write a letter to whoever I am angry with, put it aside, revisit it in a week (make any changes or additions I want) and continue this cycle until I feel that it is done. Then I burn it and release my anger.
Anger is one of the stages of grief and I suspect that is where you are right now, still grieving.
Sending you hugs of support.
