Originally Posted by
alaskasunshine 
Don't dn o anything for him that he can do for himself!!! Seriously. It is part of his recovery. I have had 2 dui's and the first one my exh took care of me through it all. The second one I was on my own, and truly, it was the process of losing my license for a year, losing my job, and losing my self-worth, and then fighting to get them all back that forced me to be a grown up.
They say if you assist a baby bird to hatch out of it's eggshell, it will die. same idea.
Thank you for sharing! Well, he came clean with our son yesterday and sat him down and told him the whole ugly truth. I told him he's on his own on finding a lawyer, etc even though he practically begged me to help him. He understands. He is very afraid he's going to lose his job and he is telling me now that he is contemplating suicide. He says we'll be better off without him especially if he loses his job. I told him: find a lawyer and let them figure all that stuff out with you, you may not do jail time and you may be able to keep your job.
He also told me that if he needs a ride somewhere and it conflicts with our schedule then he will find an alternative ride or change plans. He did say that he may ask me to drive him to work appointments with clients but only if I am 100% available and able to do so.
He appears to be very depressed, sleeping a lot, sitting like a zombie on the couch, etc. I know he has a lot on his mind and it's only been 3 days but at some point I'd like to see him snap out of it.
He did tell our son that he wants to take full responsibility for what he did and that he is going to try to see the positive in all of this. Of course, I told him last night that suicide is the ultimate selfish act and that he needs to follow through with what he told our son. Set the right example, get healthy, do your time or punishment or whatever, and learn something from it. Talking suicide isn't going to get us anywhere.
I can tell that he's scared. So am I. I am trying to be compassionate, I even gave him a hug yesterday but that's about as far as I am ready to go. I am still dealing with my own anger right now, too. Anyway, that's our update.