Oh, how I wish things were different for you. I have followed your posts.
This week I watched all the Dr. Drew shows, and so many times the reality of the cycle and the threat of relapse was made clear. His colleagues--drug counselors Shelley, Bob, Jennifer--all had many relapses (Bob Forrest went to treatment 32 times!).
If my addict--with years of sustained recovery and then, I think, relapse--came back, having worked a rigorous program for a year, in counseling, daily meetings (once or twice a week just isn't enough for a career drug addict...heroin especially is just so powerful).....if he came back, as yours did, with that solid year and with a willingness to try again: I would. I am certain I would.
But I have learned that to be with him, I have to keep on my own track, keep my own life as I've set it up, my own friends in close rapport, my own meetings, my own work, and be prepared at any time on any day for him to disappear. And then, another year, minimum, separation.
Because that is the reality of drug addiction. He can go off a cliff. And the addiction comes with the man.
I understand why you tried again and thought it was worth the try. If you decide to try again with him one day, I would understand that, too.
The times you are alone and he is out there, those are the times you become more who you are and are forced to look at yourself. For me that has been a very good thing. And I have grown in the solitude and separation far more than I would have in an easy relationship. It's true. I had an easy relationship for over a decade and I drifted and did not deepen at all.
I do hope all the best for you, no matter what happens next.