Originally Posted by ajnaT

Most of my threads have been about the same person. I have been friends with her for about 15 years. We were extreme party animals with no shortage of participants. Things have changed.

I have not been hammered since July 2011 but I have had a couple of drinks occasionally and fought the urge to have more and that part has not been easy. Things are changing for the better for me and my friend is getting more bitter. She is drinking twice as much as I have known her to drink and there is a lot going against her such as schizophrenia and alcohol induced epilepsy, among the rest of the obvious stuff. I love her but have started to dislike her over the last few months.

Yesterday we talked on the phone and she said she wanted to leave her property and the rest of her inheritance to me in her will. She said she wanted no funeral service and didn't care how many wakes everyone had. She is only fifty. She considers me family, although she spends more time with the alkys than she does with me. She says she is happy with her life and is adamant that she will never try to reform herself whereas I am feeling better all the time.

She called me today (I let the msg go to voice) and she said it wasn't the booze talking yesterday. She had been building up the courage to ask me those things for a long time and could we talk about it. I don't want to talk about it.

I have been put in a quandary. The further I get to my goal the less I find her so attractive a prospect for my future. I love her but lately I have liked her less and notice that her company brings out the worst in me. I don't see her as family the way she sees me.

Also, my intuition suggests she is alluding to suicide and using the 'will thing' as way of saying HELP!