Hi 13,
Staying active can work for awhile, but eventually the "distraction" doesn't work anymore because your heart and the pain need attention and some space and time to heal. I understand not wanting to deal with the family broadcast...most people outside of a love relationship with an addict just don't get why one would stay.
Coming here is great. I have found that the "anonymity" that exists in the online group is much stronger than a face to face group. Here you will get cross talk and advice and it can be helpful or it can be confusing. Try to just listen to the similarities and accept/feel the support even if you can't follow advice. Getting yourself to a live meeting could add loads of living breathing hugging tear accepting smiling warm support!! This site is so awesome for an anytime check in, but having a live community where you find a meeting that feels right (often there is childcare as well!) that you develop a fellowship with and perhaps even get your own personal sponsor (such a luxury!!) will help you immensely.
Whatever direction you go with your life you will need loving kindness and support and, in the case of dealing with addiction and it's consequential pain, often family and normal friends are simply NOT equipped to help. wishing you the best and praying for your peace of mind, Leslie