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Old 02-16-2012, 09:38 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
helpme33
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SouthEast
Posts: 159
(((I feel your pain.))) I agree that the meetings help even if you are not a religious person, the support and enabling info was a huge help for me. Plus society tells us that we are bad parents or our children would not have taken this path. BS, I know ministers that have the same problem, and they enable just as much as I did to try and fix their children. Doesn't work!!!

My gifted son (math science) started using at an early age and I was a single parent trying every program I could find. He was court ordered to rehab twice and narrowly missed prison. I believe the fact that our governor at that time was dealing with his own AD helped people realize they need treatment not prison.

I finally told mine to leave at 19 after so much theft (his friends too) lies and the same ole thing everyone is going through. He would sneak out at night and I would wake the next morning with the doors and windows unlocked, sometimes strangers on my sofa. He was putting my life in danger, plus I was getting sick from the drama.

Now at 33 he was clean and sober for one year, and I actually enjoyed the phone calls (not collect either lol). He started college and was on the deans list. I guess the GF and him thought they could handle recreational drugs and now he is homeless, no money, no job, no friends. I had to call the police to stop her harrassment, she likes to tell me what a bad mother I was and if I really loved my son I would be supporting him financially.

I am retired and we moved to another state and, yes, it is easier not having them in your home. Regardless, we still want the best for our children and it is so heart wrenching, but he has to learn that it is HIS life and HIS choices. They are in controll and only they can live a productive life.

Never give up hope, but do give up enabling them. I tried so hard to help, but we can not do it for them.

(((Blessings to all)))
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