Originally Posted by
Ilovemysonjj 
The main advice I have is do not go into DENIAL. If your son is lying and cheating, he is using. Also, pot leads to everything else, trust me. If you are to let him live at home, I suggest you randomly drug test and make it a requirement for letting him live at home. At his young age, he thinks he is indestructible.
Hi Teresa,
Thanks for your advice. I know what you're saying about denial. I have been back and forth between denial and trying to be a "tough" father and trying to be compassionate and understanding his disease. I think (at least I hope) that my denial days are over now after the first big relapse. We will be doing random drug tests with him, and are having him supply proof the hours when he is at work and have made it clear that he can't hang around with those 2 friends or any other users while living in our house. Keeping him from his friends is the one area I feel we have the least control over. He insists they are his only 2 close friends and he is always drawn to people that are into music, which unfortunately is a scene that often includes drugs and alcohol.
Getting him to go to AA/NA meetings and see his outpatient counselor is another challenge. I think there is a part of him that wants to stay sober to avoid all the hurt he's caused, but you are right, they just feel that they're indestructable at that age and they can put themselves in any risky situation and still keep themselves under control. I fear that he will not comply with our conditions, and eventually we'll be forced to leave him out on his own where I can just see him spiralling out of control. I was hoping he hit his rock bottom last year after being expelled and arrested, but I have sadly come to the realization that the worst may be yet to come.