"But what I wonder is.... in some cases how twisted the minds become of the codependant that they can no longer 'see' when the addict is really trying.
They no longer acknowledge improvement or change or growth... because they have built a wall and they are too scared to risk their own feelings again. "
Good point. I would have to imagine that this could happen, especially when the codependant has little awareness of their own issues.
It has been less than 2 weeks since she was discharged from detox. I have good reason to be too scared to risk any further investment. I have witnessed her pull herself together for a few weeks before. Everything she is telling me about her latest insight into her issues has been said before. I have witnessed many epiphanies, followed by incomplete admissions, that have not resulted in any sustainable change. I am listening to my gut instincts now. They are telling me that it is a bit early to declare the war has been won.