Zoso - I don't see your comments as negative at all.
What she has figured out is everything- why she was using, how it happened, and how (armed with this knowledge) she will never touch it again. "It's that simple" she says.
Now that she is so clear about things she feels like I am not being positive enough. She doesn't think I can see all the good things that she thinks are happening. She sees my commitment to taking care of me keeps me moving on a path away from her. My answer to that is maybe that is exactly what will happen, but I am open to seeing what is in front of me as it is, without the coda filter.
I am in therapy individually, we are in therapy together, and I am going to start attending meetings (al-anon, coda, and acoa to find the right fit).