Hi SoberClean, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's struggles. I know how much anxiety it can cause.
My immediate and extended family members have/do struggle with addiction. Maternal grandparents and stepgrandfather all alcoholics, maternal aunt and cousin are alcoholics, my sister is a recovering addict, my stepson is an active alcoholic and polysubstance abuser.
I can tell you from personal experience that it is possible to be happy again regardless of whether or not our loved ones are drinking/drugging.
Keep coming here and reading everything you can about alcoholism. Keep venting away. We really do understand exactly what you are going through, and we are here to walk with you.
HG