zoso77

jbdream1970,

Are you in Al Anon? Nar Anon? Neither?

The reason why I highlighted the sentence in your first post was because it is textbook codependent thinking.

A buddy of mine in the program said something that may be of use to you:

I'll take care of me for you, you take care of you for me.

In other words, this man's recovery is his recovery, and the best way to support him is to stay out of his way. Especially where he's only got a year under his belt.

If this is your second go-round with an addict, and you're jumping head first into another relationship with an addict in recovery, I hope you're honest with yourself regarding your motivations.

This board isn't in the business of telling people what to do. What it is in the business of is sharing a wealth of experience and knowledge for the purpose of mutual caring and support. Some of the posters here are in recovery from substance abuse. If you really, really want to know what you're dealing with, my suggestion is you start reading. Very carefully. Because if you're not honest about what it is you're dealing with, my fear is you're going to be hurt.

As someone that wasn't honest with himself about what he was dealing with, I do not want to see that happen to you.

God Bless,
ZoSo