Zoso, I know this isn't quite the same but I was with someone for two years who was bipolar and not consistently treating with meds. The first few months were a fairy tale, I never thought I could be treated as well as I was with him. In hindsight, he did all the right things, all of what was needed to lure me in. Having only one serious long term relationship befoe this (married young, stayed together for years, parted as frends) and being as trusting as I am, we shared a bank account once we started living together. I also had money i na separate account but I was living on a high of being "in love" (or so I thought) and wanted to show him what others could not because, you see, he made himself out as the victim that no one understood him.
As time went on, I figured out he had a very enabling mother. And because of how slowly the cruelty of his illness (and his true nature) unfolded, I was in deep before realized just how bad the situation was. I remember the moment, where I was even, that I had the resignation thinking "this must be the life God wants me to live, being a caretaker." i was for my parents, I was certainly not happy at that moment, but didn't even see there was another option (leaving). that's how bad the co-dependency got.
anyway, my point is, you took a chance, several in fact, with this person, did everything you could and then some, and you got burned, terribly in fact. It is so so hard to imagine anyone could be so cruel especially when you gave everything you did. I truly think that people such as your ex and mine's evilness is fueled by the giving nature of others. Their lives are out of control in every other way so the only control they can have is by making the other person sink so low, that they can manipulate in every way.
Everyone is different and you can't force relationships. It took me a long time to get over that relationship, or rather, the humiliation, the embarrassment and shame I felt and I wil never let my guard down again in the way of sharing accounts and other trusting-too-fast actions. I imagine it is going to be very difficult for you to forget the pain but what you can do is not focus so much on "I can't think about dating right now" and change it to "one day it would be nice to believe in someone again". If you read another post of mine in another thread, you'll know I'm talking about that positive energy stuff, lol. Even if you don't believein that, just shifting your thought process in just a slightly different way, even if it's changing how you word what you feel, can make a big difference over time.
Nothing will ever change what happened but you can make changes for a happier future and you most certainly deserve it!